The Taboo of IVF….


I’ve been thinking about writing about this for a while. I’ve caught myself starting this and then stopping so many times over the last few weeks wondering if maybe I shouldn’t talk about it. That’s why I’ve decided to bite the bullet and go for it. I’m going to tell you a about the start of our journey with IVF.

IVF is such a taboo topic with a lot of people. I can understand why people don’t want to talk about it, but I just don’t think I’m that person. I’m generally a very open person. I also can’t lie for shit… A good quality i think.

We decided  about 2 years ago we were going to start being series about having a baby. We had just gotten married and we were very happy and this was the next step for us. I counted my days, we did ovulation tests.. The months dragged on and we were still not pregnant. I was getting more and more stressed which wasn’t good and with every month that we weren’t pregnant I was blaming myself more and more. I was convinced there was something wrong with me. With each month I was more and more heartbroken. A lot of my friends around me where falling pregnant and it seemed like every second one was sharing their fantastic news with me. Although I was so happy for them, I felt so hollow inside. I’m not gonna lie a few times I thought “Why isn’t it me!” after all I am only human.

Last year was a hell of a year for the two of us. Dave’s dad had a stroke during the summer and my Mam was in and out of hospital as well. But even with all these things going on we still where hopeful with each month. Eventually we decided we needed a break away, a late holiday. So of we went to Italy. While we were there I brought up IVF to Dave and asked him what he thought about maybe trying it come January. He said to me lets not wait. Lets look into it as soon as we get home. I was pretty surprised at this, but I think he must have realised how much this was weighing me down and that I was blaming myself over the fact we weren’t pregnant yet. We had a brilliant holiday after that and as soon as we got home I looked into different clinics.

I’d heard amazing things about the Rotunda IVF Clinic and so I called them. From the first conversation I had over the phone I knew I’d made the right decision. The woman was so kind. She offered us a cancellation appointment the next week or an appointment in 6 weeks time which would bring us to the start of December. I was surprised by this and the appointment the week after was just too soon. My mind couldn’t comprehend taking an appointment that soon so I took the one in December.


The 6 weeks flew in and a week before the appointment I had blood tests and Dave had a sperm test. The day arrive and it just so happened that we had a weekend booked away in Manchester to visit friends, our flight was later that afternoon. Our appointment was for first thing 8am I remember getting off the luas and walking down Henry street and thinking it was so quiet and surreal. We where both a bundle of nerves but also I was feeling excited. This was the start of our IVF journey we where going to get a baby at the end of this. It will be worth the expense and everything else in the end.

Oh how naive I was….

We got bad news that day, we probably wouldn’t have gotten pregnant naturally. Needless to say we were both shocked and didn’t know what to think. The Doctor was very positive and said there was a still a lot of options left. He wanted both of us to get a load of tests done in the next few months and see us again the end of January, we’d go from there. We went away that weekend in a bit of  a daze. I think it was a good thing us being away. It took our mind off things maybe not fully but a little.


When we got home, it took us a few weeks to get to the frame of mind that we had options and that we were a team, we could get through anything. We got through Christmas and launched into all our tests in January. Our next appointment arrived and we again landed in the Rotunda first thing on a Friday morning. But again the news wasn’t great. My FSH Levels (This is the hormone that measures how many eggs a woman has left) where slightly below normal for my age and again Dave’s sperm levels were low. Everything else for me looked good though so that was something. It was a lot to take in. I for one never thought that this was where we’d be.

Our Doctor recommended for us to see a friend in Sims IVF Dublin. They have more options for us in the long run. So that’s where we are at now. Three and a half months into this and my naivety at the start has been knocked out of me and the realization that IVF is not always bullet proof. There may be other factors that get in the way and it can be a long road of emotions and heartache.

I can’t stress enough, if you’re a woman and you want to have children get your FSH levels checked. It can be done by a simple blood test through your GP or by any woman’s health clinic. Don’t leave it till its to late and your options lesson. The Rotunda also have a great clinic and I would recommend them to anyone. They where so nice through every step we took with them.

IVF is very expensive in Ireland – I’m a lady so I wont get into how much we’ve spent so far but its a lot and we’re nowhere near done.

We still have options and we’ll go into the next step the same way we  go into everything as a team.

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42 thoughts on “The Taboo of IVF….

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  1. Hey there!

    So glad that you ave shared this! My doctor told me when I was really young that I probably would never have kids because my hormone level was so low. I didn’t even want kids back then but it was still a blow. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to want kids and then having to go through lots of hardship ( and empty wallets) to get to that. I really hope it will work out for you ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. I know exactly how you feel. Me and my husband have been “trying” to get pregnant for years and it still hasn’t happened. I don’t have the money to be able to get a lot of tests done but my doctor did do a blood test on me and checked 3 different things, I do t remember exactly what those things were, but she told me everything looked good. That was a year or so ago and we still aren’t pregnant. I know how each month it’s a little more heartbreaking when all you want is so badly to become a mom. I hope that this will work out for you and your husband!!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. My sister tried for a couple of years, and them went IVF she has 2 boys now. It wasn’t easy but it happened. You will have a lot of positive Good will, everyone will send Good luck. xx

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Welcome to the IVF club here in Blogland… it’s the worst club in the world to be a member of… the sad thing is everybody who hasn’t been through it assumes because they know somebody who did it and was successful, that it means it’s successful for everyone, when it only works about 20 to 30% of the time. We are preparing for our sixth and final attempt at donor egg IVF this April and it’s been the worst two years of my life going through the hormones not to mention closing in on $35,000 down the tube since insurance covers nothing except for the birth control that starts the cycle.

    I wish I would have had my FSH and AMH tested when I was younger but honestly I don’t think I would have done anything differently, as I would have never been able to afford to freeze my eggs when I was younger ( a lot of people think that’s a super cheap procedure which it’s not), nor did I think when I was younger that I would ever have a problem as I had so many friends who are older and got pregnant no problem.

    The other thing not enough people checkout is their thyroid which affects not only infertility but triples the chance of miscarriage as well ( we lost our baby to miscarriage when we got pregnant on the 4th round of IVF, and found out the estrogen shots were tripling my TSH levels).

    Anyhow just wanted to say I’m glad you are talking about this as the more we all talked about this the more we normalize it not to mention educate the many people who oversimplify both infertility and IVF as a whole.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh love thank you so much for sharing your story and I’m so sorry for your struggles. I can tell it’s made you very strong and I have nothing but good vibes to send your way for April. Every word touched my heart 💜💜 Good luck xx

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m so glad you shared! As you can see in the comments, there are so many people out there who suffer with this problem, and we just don’t talk about it much. Your situation is the same as mine…my FSH was a little low, but all else was fine. My hubby had lowish sperm count, not the best quality either. We’d been trying for over a year when we finally got help. We did two failed rounds of IUI, an IVF that resulted in a miscarriage at 12 weeks, and an FET that resulted in…triplets. They are six now. But it took us 3 years to get the pregnancy that stuck. I had a different blog during that time, and I have to tell you…the infertility blogging community is amazing. AMAZING. Infertility is really isolating, so having that community of support and understanding was everything for me. If you haven’t tapped in to that community, I highly recommend it. I wish you all the luck in the world. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. Everyone has just been so supportive I’m overwhelmed by it all. I hadn’t tapped into any posts or groups on fb until yesterday. A friend sent me in the direction of a group and just the little time I’ve spent there has been very helpful. Thanks luv

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Thanks for sharing. Have just begun my own blog yesterday and had almost decided against it. Glad you are sharing your journey, it makes me feel less alone xo

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I just did my first post about my IVF journey that is just starting….. I typed in IVF in the search in hopes to find someone else on the journey, or who have been on this journey for support/advice. Best of luck to you! Keep sharing your story!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Hi thanks for sharing. I was on the fence about sharing my story too but after seeing your courage I’m going to do it. We went through 5 IVF attempts before our beautiful daughter arrived, don’t loose hope! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rebecca – I would be keen to hear your story! I couldn’t find one linked to this but if you follow my blog I will return the follow to keep tabs 🙂

      A problem shared is a problem halved

      Congrats on your little one


  9. well done for sharing – not easy
    I am also writing a blog, feel free to follow, on my fertility struggles.
    I have found the exact same as you…why dont we speak about it?
    I’ve made it my mission to tell my story as honestly as I can
    This will be amazing for us to look back on!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. good on you for sharing! So many people have issues with fertility and as people don’t talk about it, it can feel so lonely. Once you do talk about it, you see how many people are experiencing the same issues – a problem shared is a problem halved and all that!
    I have had my little boy through IVF and hopefully now pregnant with another… so definitely can work!! All the luck in the world on your future journey x

    Liked by 1 person

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